Comeback
by silveririses
Summary: "You should watch out. When you get run over by a car, it won't be an accident." One-shot. DM/HG. Sequel to Insulted.


. . .

How did anyone get anything done around here with all these magical staircases?

Hermione was standing at the end of one staircase carrying a stack of books piled sky high. If she hadn't thought to look before taking another step, she would have walked right off the staircase and plummeted to her death thousands of feet below.

You know, not a big deal.

She peered behind her stack of books, glaring at the inconsiderate staircase across from her that was taking its own sweet time to move back into its proper place.

Finally, she heard the click of the staircase locking into place and Hermione took a step.

Her foot landed at an angle and Hermione found herself falling to the ground, her books scattered in every direction, sprawled on her stomach.

Suddenly, she realized that she was _sliding_ down the staircase. The steps had disappeared and had now turned into a slope that she was riding downhill.

Hermione propped herself on her elbows and closed her eyes behind her hands, and braced herself for impact with the floor.

. . .

She crashed into something solid.

Hermione frowned, uncovering her eyes and looking up.

She found an angry Malfoy scowling down at her. Hermione's jaw dropped.

"Granger, as much as I love it when you grovel at my feet, would you kindly clean up this mess?"

This made Hermione scramble to her feet faster than lightning.

Malfoy didn't even offer a hand, typical.

"Well, I'd like to say I'm glad you're here. I'd like to say it."

She turned her back to him and gazed at her books, which now lay in a heap at the bottom of the stair-turned-into-slide.

She took her wand out and found that Malfoy, surprising, had still not moved, "May I have the pleasure of you absence?"

Draco disregarded this. "I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him, "I'm busy now; can I ignore you some other time?" She spelled her books back into a stack that she left on the floor.

Draco spoke thoughtfully, "You know, I like you better the more I see you less."

"Great," Hermione said sarcastically, "Let's go some place where we can each be alone." She paused, suspicious, "Why _are_ you here?"

Draco tried to shrug it off, "I decided to take the stairs from now onwards." His eyes narrowed, "Why are _you_ here?"

"I decided that taking the lift makes people lazy."

"Uh-huh," Draco grinned. "So this has nothing to do with the night we spent together in the lift?"

"SHHH!" Hermione looked around, "Nobody knows about that. And stop trying to make it sound dirty, nothing happened. The lift just—stopped working."

Draco smirked, "If nothing happened, you wouldn't mind if I told anyone about it, would you?"

Hermione gasped, "Blackmail! You should watch out. When you get run over by a car, it won't be an accident."

Draco grinned, "Plotting my murder now?"

"I think you should live for the moment." Hermione contemplated, "But after that, I doubt I'll think so."

Draco shook his head, "Why I am not surprised that my death would make you happy?"

"You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along," Hermione drawled.

"Actually, that wouldn't surprise me." Draco snickered.

"And then when you were born, something terrible happened—", Hermione spoke cheerfully "—you lived. I shall take it upon myself to correct that mistake. After all, I believe in respect for the dead and I could only respect you if you _were_ dead."

Draco was amused, "I'm sure everyone would suspect you of my murder."

"But when people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say your stupidity." Hermione smiled, "They'd believe that."

"Ah, I see." Draco replied, mockingly. "Well, you are no longer beneath my contempt."

Hermione sighed, "I suppose that's progress."

"Don't bet on it. I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing." Draco nodded, knowingly.

Hermione grimaced, "It seems the more I think of you, the less I think of you."

"But you do think of me, though?" Draco's eyes shined with mischief, "Or dream of me?"

"You're someone that I would only meet in a nightmare."

"Ouch, that hurts." Draco disdainfully held his heart. "Do you think nothing well of me?"

"You do serve at least one useful purpose in life," Hermione relented sardonically, "as a horrible example."

"You, Granger, are a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet." Draco said scathingly.

"As much I would love to insult you, you probably wouldn't understand." Hermione continued, "You're a person of rare intelligence, as it's rare when you show any."

"Not to worry. I won't get into a battle of wits with you. I never attack anyone who's unarmed." Draco scorned.

"Yeah, yeah, you're the best at _all_ you do—" Hermione said, sarcastically. "—and all you do is make people hate you."

"Oh, I'm sorry. If I said anything to offend you," Draco derided, "I meant it."

Hermione was starting to get a headache, "Don't you ever get tired of having you around?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'd explain it to you, but I don't have any crayons with me."

"What are crayons?" Draco asked.

Hermione threw her hands up in the air, "This is exactly what I mean."

Draco laughed, "Granger, I like you. I have no taste, but I like you."

Hermione stopped dead. "What?"

"Let's go out."

Hermione's brain stopped working.

"I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company, since I haven't had it yet."

That snapped her out of it, "How about never? Is never good for you?"

"I'm busy, then." Draco's face remained as impassive as ever, "How about now?" Before Hermione could say another world, Draco levitated her stack of books and started walking away.

Hermione was caught off guard. She looked at Draco, uncertain. "Stop trying so hard, I couldn't like you any less."

"Brilliant, then we can only go up from there." Draco chanced a glance down at Hermione. He _knew_ it would work if he took her books hostage.

Hermione was still a little shell-shocked when the lift doors opened and Draco stepped inside, "Wait, you're claustrophobic—"

Draco smiled, "I think I can handle it if you're in here with me."

And he pulled her inside before the lift doors closed in front of Hermione's disbelieving face.

. . .


End file.
